#No Filter Needed

Anyone who knows me... knows I’m a pretty real person. A straight shooter.... I don’t hold much back. This is something I struggle with everyday. If you are deserving of a word slap..... please fully expect one. I was brought up to be honest and genuine, work hard, be kind and loving...blah blah blah. But in this very Politically Correct world this is difficult. I have seen so many blogs bashing our MILLENIALS.... and while I agree with SOME of it I really have to say....they are a product of their environment and upbringing. Don’t bash them for getting the participation trophy and having this false sense of entitlement... the generations before us implemented that. They didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Politically correctness has consumed our world to a point of ridiculousness. People complain and yet out the other side of their mouth don’t know the meaning of being real. Nor can they handle it when they are faced with it. I have been chastised more times then not for being too outspoken, too opinionated, even called rude. I’m ok with that. You either love me for being Frank or hate me for being frank. If you wrong me...you are going to hear about it. If you wrong my child or family... you are going to hear about it. Plain and simple.

My spouse and I discuss this all the time. He is classy and has wayyyyyy more finesse than I. I admire this trait and yet I rage against it. There are certain people in this world that are absolutely heinous people and yet because of status, or position or wealth or social etiquette....everyone is nice to them. This drives me insane. If I don’t like you....I just don’t like you. What you see...is what you get. I won’t go out of my way to be mean or rude but I refuse to enable you and your reprehensible behaviour. Being nice to these people when you dislike them is two faced in my opinion. My spouse disagrees and probably many others would too. We were out at a social function and one of these undesirables made their entrance. she worked her way around the room giving hugs to everyone. Even my spouse accommodated this snake as she slithered her way around. She got to me and pretended to be my best friend....outstretched arms (after telling someone that my spouse and I were swingers) I promptly looked at her and said NO.....get to stepping. People were appalled. But guess what.....she now knows where my boundaries are and knows I will not tolerate her behaviour. Meh.... I’m not missing out. She avoids me at every corner.....mission accomplished.

Facebook is unindated with this #NoFilterNeeded..... people apparently want the raw..real.. unaltered you!!! So let’s give it to them. Drop the act. Drop the masks. Drop the fakeness. See, my train of thought is this....if I’m nice to someone and their behaviour is less than desirable then I’m enabling them. I am saying..... your behaviour is OK and you may continue to disrespect me and others. If more people refused to allow them to carry on without consequence.....their behaviour would soon change. Boundaries established.

   I had a very dear friend say to me.....Kelly, you should never say anything negative. My knee jerk reaction was....BULLSHIT. That is NOT real... that is not Life. Life is hard... and messy.. and sad.. and happy and educational. There are positive times and there are negative times..... this is life and I will react accordingly. I am not a cruel or mean person... quite the opposite. If you are a part of my circle no one will love and support you harder than I.....I will be your personal cheerleader when you excel and lend a shoulder when you need it.....but you will know without a shadow of a doubt if you have overstepped.

So in this world of politically correctness I challenge you to be real.... it cuts through allllll the drama and reveals to you....your true tribe. Way more peace and way more love. Say exactly whats on your mind.... don’t suppress it.....let it go....it will eliminate the need for future therapy sessions. Special thanks to James Douglas (who loves me even when I don’t conform)...Paul Brinco for being a true friend and pointing out my bad behaviour and Kim Bright Wallace for spending most of the morning talking me down. It was wayyyy more satisfying than taking that person out behind the woodshed and choking the living shit outta them. NOT!! But at least I’ve maintained that *haven’t killed anyone* streak. End of Rant....

The Simple Things in Life...

So recently I was asked in a very serious tone......Well what do you want Kelly?? Oddly this took me back many years ago to another question that sent me on a personal quest. What do I want out of life?? Out of Love?? I think I essentially want what we all want....to be loved. I started out my reply with.....I guess I'm a silly Girl who still believes in true love and wants it. Even after two major failed relationships and many smaller ones from my younger years.....I, Kelly still believe in love. I want to share my life with someone and grow old together. I want to rake leaves in the fall.....grow gardens in the summer and build snowmen in the winter. I want to share hot coco. I want to wake up next to the one I love everyday. I want Saturday morning Coffee and Sunday brunches. I want to drink wine while preparing a meal and discussing our busy days. I want to slow dance in the kitchen, kiss in the hot tub and get hugs from behind. I want to hold hands. I want vacations, family picnics and camp fires. I want to take our parents out for dinner instead of the other way around. I want to watch our kids succeed and rejoice in celebrations. It costs nothing. It sounds so simple. So why is it so hard to attain??? I guess I'm just a silly....naive girl who still believes in true love.

My Dreaded Journey....

Just over two months ago I embarked on a new adventure. An adventure that I had longed to take since I was a wee child. If you've read my blogs.....you'll know I planned on dreading my hair. Yep.....at 43 years of age I decided I had waited long enough to do the things I wanted to do. It took approximately 13 hours to do my whole head and was broken down into 3 visits. This is me after my first visit.

Just the bottom was done and the top of my head was still all straight hair. Man....that was difficult keeping the straight hair from the tangled hair. I went through many different feelings. Nervous that I would sit through this entire process and then HATE IT. I was scared that I would miss my lovely long shiny hair......and sometimes I do but I can honestly say after two months I am in love with my locs. This has become a journey for me. I know that sounds ridiculous. It's hair for crying out loud. However in a sense it's like a transformation.....a metamorphosis. I have wanted this for so long and for so many reasons I was not allowed to. I decided that no one but me should have the power to make such decisions and through this I am finding "Kelly". The person I think I always was on the inside but sadly, a watered down version of her to please everyone else. After my second sitting I was even more scared. It felt weird....it looked weird....and how on earth would I figure out how to manage my new hair????

That's just it, I had to learn to leave it alone and TRUST IN THE PROCESS. If you know me, you know patience is NOT one of my strong suits. Annnnnnd not being able to manipulate my new found locs was surely going to drive me INSANE. [short trip I know] The other thing that would drive me insane was not washing my hair. Why on earth do people think you suddenly stop washing your hair??? I understand they are baby dreads and we want them to stay in but I ask you this.......what tangles better.....greasy oily hair or freshly washed hair with no conditioner??? Clean unconditioned hair wins hands down. I'm sure I may get flamed by many a dread head but meh.....who cares. I am letting my hair knot up naturally. No products are in these dreads. Sure it may take me longer but I'll get there, all we have is time. This is about me and my journey. People can tread your path with you but.....no one can walk it for you. Do what makes you happy. When my hair was finally completed I was exhausted because it was 1am and I had to open the store in the morning. My head looked like I had stuck my finger in a light socket. SCARY. However I was too dog tired to worry about it and I fell into bed and slipped off into dreamland. The first few weeks were interesting. My hair did some funky things. Some days it stuck out all over. Other days it was flat. Extra frizzy on humid days but all in all. I loved it. This is me at work a few days after my hair was completed.

Yes, you are seeing that right. I wear a lab coat on a daily basis. I am a Natural Health Consultant. That's right. People entrust me with their health and wellness. I wondered if I would get treated differently because of the stigma that comes with dreads but I am happy to announce that I have not had a single bad thing said to me. Oops.....that's not entirely true. After an entire year of radio silence from my ex husband low and behold he made contact. His first words spoken to me were your hair doesn't look very good. LOL Well Sweetheart......your opinion stopped counting a long time ago. Other than that I have had nothing but compliments from young and old alike. I have not gone a single day without someone saying they suit me....they love them....can they touch them.....and my favourite is, I've always wanted to get dreads but I never had the courage to do it. I love that one because I know EXACTLY how they felt. My boyfriends reaction was the best. He hadn't seen my hair done. We had had a small disagreement via text late at night and I was just in that kind of mood. I jumped up out of my bed, into my truck, flew over to his house and barged thru his door like a bull. I musta looked wild. Hair everywhere.....probably something like this....

Half way through our "rational adult discussion" he smiled and said in his very calm demeanor "your hair is finished". He grabbed a hold of my thick locs....wrapped his hand up in it.....pulled me in close and planted a big kiss on me. Argument came to a screeching halt. **grins** Gawd I love that man. Did I mention I love that man???

My dreads continue to have a mind of their own. They are knotting up nicely. Still a long way from maturity [kinda like their owner]. I get bumps and lumps, kinks and congos starting. [congos are when two dreads start dreading together] I just rip them apart and carry on my merry way. Everyday brings something new. They especially show off my new WHITE HAIR!!!! WTF. No one warned me of this. Apparently they can't look too bad because while back to school shopping with my teenage daughter, I had a very young man hit on me.....not once but twice. My daughter shows no mercy. In her very sarcastic tone she asked the young man....How's that working for ya. LOLOLOLOLOL He announced that he was striking out all over in regards to her Mom. I was flattered and it stroked my ego nicely. This week I go back to my friend to get my babies cleaned up a bit. I have a lot of stray hair and some joining together in the back that I can't quite reach. I look forward to all their stages. I feel like as they are change...I am changing. I know.....I know...ridiculous but it's the truth. My true self is emerging. I think I'll be a cool old crone. Signing off for now. ~kelly

Not a Modified Kelly.....just Kelly.

So here I am.....at almost 44 years old and I'm taking the plunge. Becoming UNMODIFIED, literally. I have not a stitch of makeup on but I am showing off my tattooed eyebrows. I'm tired of being some modified watered down version of Kelly to appease everyone but me. Funny I used that word.....modified. People probably think I want to modify when really....I just want to be me. I have been pondering something for a long time. Actually I've been pondering it since I was eight years old. (Confirmed that with my sis last night). Since as long as I can remember I've been fascinated by dreads. I've always wanted them. I think they are absolutely gorgeous. Ever since I saw that beautiful boy on the beach while on the only family vacation I think we ever took. There he was.....sun kissed golden hair in dreads.

He was a surfer boy dream boat and I was in awe. Definitely something this back woods hippy farm girl had never seen before. Running barefoot on the beach without a care in the world. He was a beautiful sight. I had short hair at the time...thanks to a perm gone wrong. I told my Mom that I wanted that hair. Needless to say my Mother forbid it. I think her words were something like....you might as well stop brushing your hair and look like a ragamuffin. Deep sigh.....but my heart soared when I thought about it. Or maybe it soared because I thought this boy was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. It was more than that. It wasn't how he looked....it was how he WAS. He was carefree....happy....FREE. Oddly....I don't even remember his name. Isn't that weird that someone can have such a profound affect on you but you can't remember their name??

Life resumed. I went thru many stages of life. School....work....relationships....motherhood....marriage. Maybe I've done the Maiden and Mother stage and while embarking on my Crone stage.....

I no longer give a shit what the rest of the world thinks. I like who I am and for the most part I am comfortable in my own skin. I'm tired of Someone or something always saying no...you can't. Life is too damn short to listen or care to what others think or dictate. If it makes you happy DO IT!!! No one else is responsible for your happiness BUT YOU!! The last couple years everyone said.....DON'T SPACE YOUR EARS!!! That's gross. DON'T TATTOO YOUR EYEBROWS!!! You'll look hideous. AND DON'T DREAD YOUR HAIR....they smell and are disgusting!!! Perhaps I'm going through a midlife rebellion because the words NO and DON'T are like my new GO buttons. LOL

So I dreaded the front of my hair. (No....I didn't take a picture. I forgot) I went to my friends place and she was like OMG it's so you!! Wild and untameable!!! I went to work and my boss wanted to dress me up in toga for our Greece promotion. My boyfriend......well....he ummmmm.....he really liked it. I think his words were....I think they are sexy. No need to say anything more. Gawd I love him. So why have I decided to dread my hair?? Because it's who I am. I have always been that unorthodox, eccentric girl. And if it turns out I hate it......it's only HAIR!!!!

So this Sunday I am having my hair dreaded by a sweet girl named Bailey. I met her when I spaced my ears a couple years back. I am nervous and excited at the same time. Remember that feeling?? The feeling of butterflies in the tummy?? I think as we get older we tend to forget that feeling. Actually I think we get old because we stop doing the things that give us that feeling. Life is short so go and LIVE IT. Do what makes you happy......I guarantee you won't regret it.

What I've Learned In My 43 Years....

Sooooo....this is me, sitting here looking at that cursor blinking on my computer screen. I have so many things that I want to share but don't know where to start. This weekend is my 43rd birthday. Where did that time go?? I'm still trying to decide what I wanna be when I grow up. LOL

The last few years have been horrible. I have tripped and fallen....been battered and beaten. Defeated. Actually broken....heart broken. Somehow tho, in the midst of my whole world falling apart...somehow it was falling into place. I picked myself back up...dusted myself off and soldiered on. I can honestly say I am proud. Against all odds....I succeeded. I don't have the perfect life but I have a great family....solid friends and the best daughter one could ever ask for. I have a roof over my head. Food in my belly and a warm safe place to rest my head at night. Life is good. :)

I have learned a lot in the last couple years. Some tough lessons. Lessons we could all learn from. First and foremost ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!!!! Love yourself because sometimes YOU and your integrity are all you have. I've learned it doesn't matter what others think about you. If you can get up every morning and look yourself in the mirror and love the person staring back....you're golden. It's taken me a long time and I'm still working at it but for the most part I'm pretty comfortable in my skin. I like my own company. I am a cool chick. Definitely a special kind of twisted!!! A little eccentric and unorthodox but certainly not boring or lacking in character. I don't need others to make me laugh because I can provide myself with hours of entertainment. Hell....you have to be able to laugh at yourself OR others will do it for you. LOL

I'm passed the age of letting others dictate to me what my own self worth is or should be. I know without a doubt that I am a good person. A great person who wears many hats. I am a great Mother....daughter....friend.....lover....sister and wife. Yes, I said it. I WAS a great wife. Even tho my marriage fell apart and I couldn't tell you where he is today.....THAT is not my cross to bear. He left me. That hurt my ego for a long time. I changed everything he said made him unhappy in hopes of making it work. And even after I turned everything upsidedown and myself inside out HE still was not happy. They were his issues not mine and even as I type these words and know them to be true.....somedays I still get slapped in the face by my own insecurities that I WAS NOT ENOUGH. I wasn't pretty enough...skinny enough...smart enough...attentive enough. UGH....its gross how much another person can affect you. Why did I beat myself up for his unhappiness. HE WAS NOT HAPPY.....but somehow I took all that on myself and carried it around as MY failure. It was not. You are not responsible for anyone's happiness except your own.

So, my friends....go out and find your happiness. Instead of trying to get people to like or love you by molding yourself into what you think THEY want. Go out and be yourself....do the things you love and the people who are of like mind will automatically be drawn to you. Go out into that great and wonderful world and FILL YOUR BOOTS!!

I have come to realize in my *cough cough* older years that WOMEN ARE AWESOME!! I never appreciated women in my younger years. I was not interested in dresses...shopping...painting my nails...going to a salon....taking four other females to a bathroom with me....or having 50 pairs of shoes. I hung out with the boys. I liked my tee shirt and faded jeans.....field cars and motor bikes....getting dirty....riding around in the backs of trucks....hay rides...drinking around bonfires and my faithful runners or army boots. That was the carefree girl in me. As a woman, even tho I miss that girl I used to be....I have a better understanding and appreciation for women. Women offer up the biggest sacrifice.....their identity. We become so and so's Wife.....so and so's mother.....so and so's daughter. For the sake of the family we give up jobs...opportunites....friends...and me time. Some of us lose our young toned bodies to our children and many a day take our own self loathing into the shower with us. I wear my stretch marks as a badge of honour now. Yes....I still long for my twenty something body. I miss the days of when I could eat anything and not gain an ounce. For the days that I got up out of bed and didn't crack and hurt. But nothing....and I mean NOTHING in this world feels better then when you hear your child say MOM...I LOVE YOU. Hang on tight to those moments because in the blink of an eye they are over. It seems like yesterday my girl was just a toddler. Now, she is grown into this amazing young woman.

Then on the opposite end of the spectrum we have the ones we call Mom and Dad. We are so busy growing up and raising families of our own that we forget our parents are growing old. Love your parents. As quickly as we see our children grow...our parents are also watching us age and their days quickly passing by. Take the time. Call them when you can. Visit even for a moment. Cherish the time you have with them.

Speaking of sacrifice. There are a few things in life we should never sacrifice. One is....never sacrifice your own integrity. STAND FIRM IN YOUR BELIEFS. Defend yourself. Even if it means you lose that shitty job or even that great job, that puppy dog puke love or that friend you thought would be there forever. Speak your truth. Even when your voice quivers....your throat constricts.....your knees knock....and you feel like your body is on fire....always...always stand your ground. Never sacrifice your own self worth. If they respect you, they will listen. If that someone wants to be a part of your life they will make the effort. If they aren't making the effort.....they are only making excuses. DITCH THEM. The other thing you should never sacrifice is....your friends. Be the kind of friend that you want to have. Some friends will come and go but even if its for a short time.....make it count.

While there are things we should never sacrifice or give up. There are things we should always give. And those things are equally important....always give your love, every chance you get. Your time whenever possible. Your shoulder to cry on. An ear to bend. Your arms to hug. Your hand to hold. And a smile to share.

So what have I learned in my 43 years?? I've learned that the most important things in life are simple and free. That nothing soothes the soul like the smell of fresh cut hay....walking barefoot on the beach....sitting around a crackling campfire.....a warm summer breeze at dusk or the sound of children laughing. I've learned that Family is everything. Friends are precious and children are only small for a short while...so enjoy them. Do what you love and you'll love what you do. Laugh whenever possible, it is the best medicine. Life is way to short....EAT CAKE [and bacon....Edited for Brent Townsend]. Stop waiting for that special occasion....wear your sexy underwear. Not just for him....FOR YOU!! Buy fresh flowers and your favourite wine.

But most of all....

RELAX......it's Homeschooling.

We've been homeschooling for about 3-4 years now. Many reasons brought us to this crossroads and many more reasons have kept us on the path. I love the expression on people's faces when my daughter proudly announces that she is homeschooled. It ranges from shock....disgust....concern....to downright disapproval. I just smile. Needless to say I have always been very unorthodox and this is no different. There are times when I get genuine interest....the look of complete admiration and the "OMG that is so awesome but how do you not kill the little buggers" look. Even tho homeschooling and unschooling are becoming more and more prevalent in our society, it still shocks and amazes so many. I find it humourous that people have such opinions but have never experienced but one side of the equation. Most times I can easily shrug off their opinions and judgments. Other times....not so much. My number one pet peeve of ALL TIME is.......people's need to pop quiz my daughter at any given time or to interrogate her about what she is learning in school. It irritates me because in all the years she was in "regular" school, not once did this ever occur. People are funny.

When I first started our homeschooling journey I scoured the internet looking for the "perfect" curriculum. We downloaded and printed off material for what seemed an eternity. We went thru more paper and ink in a few weeks then we had in the lifetime of our printer. I made schedules reflecting when and what we would be learning and how long we would spend at it. I was so organized that......I HATED ME!! LOL We stayed on that path for about 3 months and I'm certain my daughter hated me too. I had failed miserably.

Funny thing about failure, from it, comes greatness.

So, my part time job turned into a full time job. How on earth could I ever homeschool and carry on a full time job?? Not to mention, keep house, make dinners, be Mommy and Wifey and somehow still keep it all together?? It wasn't easy but it wasn't impossible either. I was overwhelmed by an array of emotions but like I always do, I pulled my socks up....dusted myself off and soldiered on. I took my daughter to work with me. This in itself can be stressful because one never gets 5 minutes ALONE!!! I found myself saying "why don't you go outside and play". And she did. We both needed the break. I stood at the window so often just watching her in awe. She would run to the chicken house....or roll in leaves....or take apples to the horses. She would sit for hours and listen to the elderly people I looked after. (I was a Home Care Provider) Many times if I was busy doing something, she would attend to my patients needs without me even knowing. All my patients loved her and she became attached to them as well.

One night after dinner an amazing thing happened......my daughter EDUCATED me on something. A story one of my War Veterans had shared with her, had stuck, and she was now relaying it to me. With robust enthusiasm and sparkling eyes she told me the story....you could just see her brawny imagination running wild. That was my AH-HA moment. From that moment on I threw away the School Texts Books. Our learning took on a whole new direction. I learned something that day.......THAT, no matter what, a child is going to learn through EXPOSURE!! We still do mini projects but mostly because she is interested in it and NOT because I have it in our curriculum. We learn through living and quite frankly where the wind blows us. Our famous Chicken project is the lesson that keeps on giving. Kayla learned about baby chicks. She learned about how they grow. What they eat. The parts of their body. She learned about egg production. She watched as we built their chicken coop. She also learned how to clean them but oddly.....she wasn't as interested in that part!! LOL And now.....she's learning all about Municipal bylaws and bureaucratic BS. She's learning about LIFE!!

So, I can't say I'm an unschooler but I also can't say I'm just a Homeschooler either. The world is our classroom. So many times I've had adults say to me....."maybe this isn't the best place for a kid to be". Why not?? She went to the Council meetings with us. She has been interviewed by reporters. She sat through Lawyer meetings. She now knows the process in which a court case takes. Of course life isn't always that exciting. We go grocery shopping, to the mail, to the library, and some days we do absolutely nothing. We've taken mini field trips. We've gone to the Reptile Zoo, Pioneer Village and to see King Tut's Tomb. I think she learned more by walking around Down Town Toronto then she did in the Museum. In the Museum she learned about artifacts but on the streets she learned about Homelessness and humility. A lesson that cost nothing but the $2 in her tiny hand and the courage it took to walk up and drop the coin in the homeless man's cup. She also learned that, the power of a smile and kindness is priceless.

We have an ongoing "Geography" project that we do through Postcrossing. She sends postcards off to random addresses all over the world and gets a random one in return. We will then learn about the place it comes from. One of my War Vets gave her oodles of info and books on Germany because he had been there during the War. Those facts stuck with her far longer then any lecture I would have given because it was REAL to her. He had been there. He had pictures. He had cool war stories. When people find out we homeschool, they are so happy and willing to give information about where they live and what they know. People love to talk about themselves and love more that someone cares to listen. It's a win-win situation. We also have a saying in our house that ALWAYS get a good belly laugh from all members. When we don't know something, someone will inevitably announce very boisterous and theatrically....LOOK IT UP!!!!! And we do.

I know many people think that this is just another one of my crazy notions and I've finally lost my mind. They could be right!! LOL People's judgments don't count. I've learned something that confounds most of society.......Everyone learns differently. Everyone has different likes and dislikes. ANNNNNNNND Everyone excels in different areas. If you absolutely detest something, the odds of you excelling at it, is doubtful. BUT if you are interested in something, the odds of you enjoying it and surpassing others in this area is terrific. My husband is one of those people who like to "pop quiz" at any given moment. It drives me insane. If there is something our daughter doesn't know you can see his disapproval. He loves history and therefore thinks EVERYONE should know everything about it. He and I will have a brief disagreement because I don't care much for history but excel at spelling and words. He will try to make me feel bad for not knowing something which quickly ends when I gently remind him.....he can't spell to save his life. Neither one of us is better or worse then the other......just different. It is my hope that she will take a little bit from both of us......actually a little bit from everyone and apply it accordingly.

So, while my husband's pop quizzes annoy me, recently I had a new found appreciation for them. Shhhhhhh.....don't tell him that, or i'll never hear the end of it. Our daughter had a few different public schooled friends over for play dates and sleep overs. As fate would have it, my adoring husband started the "pop quiz" at dinner. To my surprise and delight the public schooled children couldn't answer his questions but our daughter could. He jumped from subject to subject but our daughter answered more questions and answered correctly. While this is not scientific and in no way is bashing our lovely dinner guests, it proved to him once and for all that public schools are not the end all and be all of education. He soon learned that even tho we struggle with Multiplication and division here at home that public schools are opting to just give their students calculators.

I don't think you need a school to learn. I've learned more from my elderly patients and more from living in the real world then I ever learned in school. In the last 3-4 years I had one of my elderly Lovelies teach me to knit. [See, you can teach an old dog new tricks.] I then taught my daughter. That may not seem like any great feat but at one time, it was a grand thing to know and was EXPECTED that you knew it. My elderly Lovely told us stories of how when the men were sent off to war, the women would knit multitudes of socks to save their feet. There was a right and a wrong way to do this....if there was even one knot or bump out of place, it could cause sores on the feet of the soldiers. Sores that could result in infection, rot or possible gangrene. Something so simple but something that could mean life or death on the battlefield. We learn everyday because that's what we do. Life alone, teaches us.

I've had many discussions with friends, family, and naysayers. I ask them all, what do you specifically remember from school? Aside from reading, writing and arithmetic what has stuck with you? I can honestly say without a doubt, that nothing of great importance was taught. It was after I left school that the real learning began!!! My next pet peeve is when someone tries to EDUCATE me on SOCIALIZATION. *insert eye roll* I think homeschooled children are more socialized and are greater equipped to deal with society then public schooled children. Homeschooled kids are NOT set in a room with just people their own age everyday. They as set in the world with people from ages 2 to 92, everyday. They have to adapt quickly to situations that I think leave public schooled children far behind. Public schooled children deal only with kids their own age. For the most part, everything is standard. The same topic of conversation...the same classes...the same people...the same music...the same pressures etc etc....you get the picture. Homeschooled kids have to deal with everyone of varying ages. The homeschooled kids and the public schooled kids at the public pool or library or sporting event. They interact daily with store clerks, the mail person, receptionists at the hospital, the nursing home, doctor's office, and vets. Not to mention in my case, all my elderly patients. A lot of public schooled children wouldn't just strike up a conversation with an older person for the pleasure of it.....because they have nothing to say and nothing in common. Most homeschooled children will because they are not limited to a certain peer group. At what other time in your life are you stuck in situation/room of people just your age??? NEVER.

More times then I can count on both my hands, I've had people seek us out to tell us how brilliant...polite...mature...intelligent....delightful...helpful...and personable our daughter is. Total strangers have come up to me and commended me on a job well done. I am not bragging, I am as shocked and delighted each time it happens, as I was the first time it happened. I think because the homeschooled/unschooled children are given the freedom to learned whatever interests them, in turn, EVERYTHING interests them!!! It's quite exhausting sometimes because the "Why" stage NEVER ENDS!! With my daughter and with most homeschooled children I've met, they have a NEED to know how everything works....why it works....who works it...and more importantly......CAN I DO IT?!?!?! Of course I'm generalizing. Not all homeschooled kids are this way and not all public schooled kids the other way. I was a public schooled kid but I had a need to know how everything worked....many a toy was dissected and put back together for the sheer enjoyment and curiosity of it. I'm also not saying that homeschooling is better then public schooling. One is not better or worse then the other, just different. For us, homeschooling/unschooling was the superior choice.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

This facebook post got a lot of comments. Apparently my big mouth is good for more then just rooster crowing....actually chicken clucking but whose counting. So, I thought I'd share it here. :)

Ok, I'm pissed off. I am the first person who believes in equality of ALL cultures. I was even the first to commend a school for incorporating ALL belief systems into their 'holiday' activities. I am accepting of everyone and every belief system that celebrates at this time of year. I could care less if someone wished me a Happy Hanukkah, even tho I don't look Jewish. They wished me well and THAT is all that matters. I am NOT a Christian. I do not believe that Christians have the corner market on this holiday season......BUT, and its a big one........that being said.......I am completely appalled that Merry Christmas is now considered a dirty slur. Even tho I am NOT a christian I say MERRY CHRISTMAS. I was just informed that some kids from our local school have been suspended for saying Merry christmas or something to that effect. How asinine. Our youth walk around on a daily basis using expletives that could make a sailor blush and the schools decided MERRY CHRISTMAS is worse?? Are you kidding me?? I think the school boards need to remove their head from that posterior orifice. My sister informed me that in retail she was forbidden even years ago to say Merry Christmas. That the politically correct way was Seasons Greetings or Happy Holidays and while neither of these offend me neither would MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! what the hell is wrong with society. Even if someone wished me a Happy Kwanzaa I would return their greeting happily. Society is so set on accepting everyone that it is alienating the majority. This time of year is suppose to be about PEACE...LOVE and ACCEPTANCE. I am a Pagan. We celebrate YULE but I am not so ignorant to not accept or extend a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! Man, I am so glad we homeschool. This is yet another example of how institutions and government try to strong arm people into submission. NO MORE. what ever happened to freedom of speech?? I can not see how they can uphold such a rule or how they can enforce it. We have children killing themselves from bullying everyday in our country and THIS is what the schools have chosen to have ZERO TOLERANCE with?? Get with the program. Stop teaching and breeding HATE into our children. Even tho I am NOT a Christian and Merry Christmas means something entirely different to me then it does a Christian Family........I wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

What Came First?? The Chicken or the Bylaw??

So, here I am still playing "chicken" with Trent Hills Town Council. Our deadlines came and went and the only thing laid....was eggs. No charges. However last Monday (Dec 5th) we received a letter from a Belleville Barrister informing us that Trent Hills had retained them and has instructed them to commence with Provincial Offences Court IF my 'girls' are not removed by December 12th. Well MERRY CHRISTMAS to you. Oh geeeeeeez......apparently you can't say that anymore either. I wonder if a bylaw will be concocted to enforce that as well??? That's a whole nuther rant!!!! Knowing full well that my deadline was fast approaching I've gone about my regular routine because I have no intention of caving. I do not do well with being threatened and will stand my ground.

So, like most days my phone rang with someone on the other end wanting to talk chicken talk with me. THIS particular phone call was VERY DIFFERENT. I had submitted an application to the Canadian Constitutional Foundation in hopes of drumming up some help in the legal end of things. I am still trying to contain myself. I know this is not a for sure thing but man oh man....am I STOKED. I still have to go before a board of directors and a board of members but this organization is interested in taking on my case. These are the same people who represent the Raw Milk guy Micheal Schmidt. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO.

So aside from shaming them publicly I may have a chance at beating them LEGALLY as well!!! I do not go a single day without someone in our town voicing words of support for what we're doing. Of course that means something.....BUT.....to have an organization who defneds the constitutional Rights of Canadians offering to help us.....THAT just floats my boat!!

Stay tuned for the continuing Saga of AS the Feathers Ruffle!!

Who Gives A CLUCK?!?!?!

Wow....how my life has changed in such a short period of time. Something that started out as a homeschooling project has thrown me into the center of something huge. The lesson that just KEEPS ON GIVING!!! LOL I may be learning WAYYYYYYYY more then I bargained for. For anyone who may be following my blog or my endless updates on facebook you are aware my Backyard chickens have ruffled more then a few feathers. They did get a temporary stay but they are back on the chopping block. We only have until October 31st to remove them or I've been notified that I will be officially charged. With many internal battles I have decided to stand my ground. I have not been presented with ONE single rock solid reason for having to get rid of them. The absolute ridiculous notion that my 7 hens might somehow hurt the farmers "trying to make a living" is far reaching for a valid reason.

This proposal was never taken seriously. Council had their minds made up before we ever entered into talks. I was very disappointed at how the first meeting was handled with behaviour like rooster crowing and chicken jokes made by our very own council members. Not very professional or adult like. THESE are the elected officials that we are supposed to entrust our decision making to?? The very people who are sitting in council chambers mocking and belittling citizens who come to them with an issue?? This does NOT lay down the foundation for a 'trusting relationship'. Elected Officials (not just in our municipality but Nationwide) need to realize that contrary to popular belief, 'the people' have a voice EVERY DAY....not just on election day.

People have rights. Food and food choice is part of a standard of living and is a universal human right. I am simply asking for the basic human right to raise my own food on a small scale. Naysayers all sing the EXACT same tune. Their opinions are only formed on fear and ignorance. Fear of the unknown and change.....and ignorance of the FACTS. The very first concerns of noise...smell...and health concerns can all be resolved by three little words............

RESPONSIBLE PET OWNERSHIP

As with any pet the owner has to be responsible. If my dog is noisy or being a nuisance, she is scolded and brought inside. If she poops, we clean it up. If she is sick, we get her medical help. So now that all of the initial concerns have been dealt with.....what are the next set of concerns?? Ya know.....to date, I've not had one person have any other concerns. ANNNNNNNND should someone have concerns, bring it to me. I am not unapproachable. More then likely the concern can be dealt with amicably and to the satisfaction of all parties concerned. What I do not like is....being told what to do without a just and reasonable rationale behind it AND nosy naysayers who think that their rights are more important then mine. BUT....I think everyone already came to that conclusion. LOLOLOL

On an UBER POSITIVE note......
I am overwhelmed by the support I've been receiving from friends and strangers a like. Since making my stand I have been interviewed by reporters from both newspapers and TV stations who are "baffled" by the "unfounded decision". I have been invited to join the Canadian Liberated Urban Chicken Klub that originated in Calgary AND asked to attend the 2011 Bring Food Home Conference....connecting those individuals and organizations who are working towards a sustainable food system. I can't even explain the many feelings that are running through me right now. Give it time tho.....I'm never at a loss for words for long!!!

The Cancer Society and Why I Don't Support Their Cause......

As the title states I'm not a huge supporter of the Canadian Cancer Society. That being said, I can usually be guilted into donating my hard earned money. Trust me....I've received many boo's and hisses and down right dirty looks for my opinion but....MEH, I'm use to it. If you know anything about me you know I've never been ORTHODOX to say the least. So, once again I was out shopping and nailed the minute I got into the store to donate money to this WORTHY CAUSE. I gave my daughter money to donate because I'm not one to force my opinions on even my children but declined for myself. However huge guilt came over me when I saw the woman who was asking for my support get very emotional when I explained I'm not a supporter of the Cancer Society. UGH...I hate that. So, I dug a little deeper and mustered up change as I rarely carry cash on my person.

I took this opportunity to explain WHY I don't support this cause. I could tell my info was going in one ear and out the other and she just wanted me to give up my money but perhaps some day the words I spoke will come back to her. If you've actually made it this far into my note then I'll assume you are a true friend and know I'm not some cold hearted b**ch who just doesn't like giving up her money. On the contrary. I will give whole heartedly to most causes that I don't think are fraudulent. My whole family are huge supporters of anything that helps make this world a better place. Sadly my own Father was a supporter of the Cancer Society.....we didn't discuss it much. My words fell on deaf ears most times anyways and were wrote off as one of Kelly's notions.

While I commend the Cancer society for their efforts and their work and their help provided to the Cancer patients....they do this based on a huge LIE!!! First they claim a portion of their money goes to Cancer Research. LIE. Why are they still researching when there is Cancer Cures already out there. I can name 2 well known Institutes that have cured hundreds of thousands of patients of their Cancer long after the medical establishment gave up on them and told them to go home to die. NICE. I know of a well known supplement that has cured Cancer at a success rate much larger then Orthodox medicine. It's success rate was so high that Doctor's from the medical community tried to BUY the recipe for a million dollars from the maker and when all attempts failed they made it so she couldn't operate her clinic.

So, I ask.....why are we pouring our hard earned money into a Society that doesn't follow up on ALL CURES?? I'll tell you why.....Cancer among most diseases makes them too much money. We already KNOW these Alternative Institutes are there and are curing people everyday.....what if we poured our funds into more research for them?? People sneer at Natural Health cures and the first thing they say is......where's your proof?? You mean aside from the hundreds of thousands of cured patients??? Well Rene Caisse had documented proof galour but she still found herself in COURT trying to fight for her rights to help people. Right here in Bracebridge CANADA....Cancer was being cured as far back as the 1920's. Maybe instead of naysayers bashing such cures, if they actually supported them, we might have ourselves more cures for most diseases. What is more important......finding a cure or being a right fighter no matter what course of action that involves??? Pull your head out of that postierior orifice of yours and stop being so gullible.

So what's the next step?? Instead of possibly looking into the natural therapies people go to great lengths to prove that these therapies are not always successful. And....they are right. However, does Orthodox medicine have a 100% success rate?? Hell no. So why is it people will overlook that FACT and dismiss Alternative therapies as bunk because they don't have a 100% success rate?? This baffles me. I know many people, some in my family, who took round after round of radiation and chemo and still were met with a disastrous deadly results. These same people were given endless studies (by me) of Natural Cures and Clinics to research or better yet....go to. Did they try any of those options??? Nope...nadda. What were they afraid of?? If nothing else......use these alternative therapies in conjunction with the orthodox route. The worst that will happen is....your immune system and body will be supported while you inject those poisons into your body.

It's time for people to stop listening solely to the all mighty medical community and to start using their own brains.....the information is out there!!!


http://www.essiacinfo.org/index.html
http://www.gerson.org/
http://www.annwigmore.org/living_foods.html

Here is the video's from the seventies that tell part of the story. There are links to louder version of the video if these ones are too quiet (http://medicalsuff.multiply.com/video/item/1)

Part 1 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZTFqKMlCCo
Part 2 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8JLgYPs0vY
Part 3 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0WcW7skHEE
Part 4 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k_nW-b-XmQ

Defeated By Illness???

So, I found this old post buried in my facebook and thought I'd move it over here. I am hoping that my recent lifestyle changes will alter many of the statements in this post that remain true today.

by Kelly Nicholls Bacher on Sunday, May 6, 2007 at 2:28pm
Funny.....no one ever realizes how debilitating an illness can be. No one understands until low and behold you get it. Two years ago I was a vision of youthfulness and health. Ok.....maybe not as young as I wish I was but I think age is just a number. I was a single mom, worked midnights, had a small child and a busy life. So it seemed normal that somedays I was exhausted.

I drove for a living so when the tiredness started affecting my work I knew something was up. I decided I was overworked and stressed out. To make a long story short my Mom saved my life. I had left my thyroid condition too long and since the day of diagnosis.....it has been an uphill battle.

My boyfriend (now husband) at the time proposed to me that November......happiest time of my life right??? Well....yes and no. I was put on medication a few weeks after his proposal. I had gained 25 pounds for what seemed no reason at all. That January my sister had all of us to her place for a "girls weekend". I like all my sisters LOVE to go out and party hard. Needless to say I was home sipping tea by 11:30pm and quite happy about it. I WAS EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! I figured it would just take time for my meds to kick in. So I went about my wedding plans and got my dress CUSTOM measured and made in China. The day it arrived I was never so happy. OK.....not true. The colour was off so I was stressing out until my parents were almost in tears by its beauty. My Dad will not say something is beautiful unless its beautiful.....so his input made it all right.

Mom and I raced upstairs and.......IT DIDN"T FIT!!!!!!!! That means I gained more weight on top of the 25 pounds. *sigh* So not to worry because "whats 25 pounds??" Time passed and I still was not feeling well and was chronically exhausted. I eventually quit work because I was afraid of falling asleep at the wheel. This gave me more time to plan our wedding and spend time with my daughter which was AWESOME. As awesome as this was my health was not getting any better....it was getting worse. Finally I went to a endocrinologist....he was mortified at my state. By the time my wedding rolled around I had 2 visible bald spots, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, hadn't had a menstrual cycle in over a year, my skin was extremely dry and bleeding, my nails were almost non-existant, my weight was so out of control that I hardly look like the same person, and come 3 in the afternoon I'm ready for bed.

No one knows this and I can't believe I'm actually going to put this down in print but I had to buy a second wedding gown and then by the wedding it still had to be reconstructed. It was horrible. I cried oceans but tried to not let my inner torture show. We were married and it was the happiest day of my life. I wasn't the princess I wanted to be but I still got my prince charming. I still battle everyday. They tell me my thyroid levels are perfect now but I honestly don't feel like me yet. My weight is still out of control....I still have no eyebrows....I've had 3 miscarriages.....my skin is still chronically dry and I still tire very easy. No one knows how horrible it is. Maybe if enough people know what the signs, symptoms and dangers are, the public will be enlightened. Maybe sufferers will be enlightened. Don't let it go.....don't write it off as stress or overworked because by the time you get around to fixing it.....it could be much worse then it had to be. Let us help eachother.

The sad thing about these kinds of diseases are....no one can see the effects. I'm not bleeding.....or bed ridden......or missing extremities....or anything that tells society I'm sick. This torment is all internal. People with such ailments are labelled lazy and fat......instead of sick and tired. I've recently gone back to a lifestyle that use to come so natural to me. I'm hoping it is these changes that will bring me back to the old me. I'll keep everyone posted.

Chickens off the Chopping Block....For Now

YAY!!!!!!! Another small victory. For now our chickens have a temporary stay. The town is going to get an opinion poll from the public to make their decision. I'm not sure how they go about doing that. What I do know is this......I WILL NOT QUIT FIGHTING!!! I was more then disappointed in our Mayor last night but was so thankful for the support his fellow members of council showed us. It was obvious by the comments made that our original letter and proposal was not even read when he spoke of chickens getting loose and running through the streets. Our chickens are properly housed and do not run amuck. Before the meeting even started my family and I overheard crowing and chicken jokes coming from the council meeting room. How very mature. When we were asked if we wanted to add anything I wanted to say....oh....by the way.....roosters crow....chicken cluck. We don't have any roosters.

Tonight we had 2 reporters come and interview us and took pictures of our "girls". I'm hoping that with more publicity will come more support. My daughter was over the moon excited and said she felt "famous". It is exciting but sad that we have to go through all of this to save our pets. They aren't hurting anyone....

A Small Victory.....

Our battle to keep our backyard chickens continues. We meet with Town Council on June 21. I've never been to a council meeting before so I have no idea what to expect or even how to open such a conversation. I suppose throwing myself at the mercy of the council would be too dramatic?? LOL In other news.....A small victory has been won, as on June 13 it was official that Quinte West has approved Backyard chickens and is amending zoning to accommodate the maintenance of a small backyard flock!!!!! YAY!! This couldn't have come at a better time.

Council has given us 2 days to collect our petition signatures but even in such a short time we're seen great support. Surprisingly we got many of the names from the surrounding businesses just by canvassing yesterday. Many comments were......with the price of food and the fear of what they put in our food.....YOU BETCHA!!!

I've considered selling knitted chickens for people to buy in support of the chickens. LOL Too much?? Over the top do you think?? Kids love them.....I could see the fad catching on.

On the sour note.....why is it certain people are just such a**holes?? When I met at Town Office yesterday I specifically asked what the complaint was about me 'girls'. What was it about the chickens that made a concerned citizen call in with a report. I said....was it noise, smell, fear of illness, too close to property lines.....what?? The Bylaw officer point blank said, Oh there was no specific complaint....just that you had chickens. What motivates people to be so ignorant and miserable?? I guess it only takes one bad apple.....

Anyways, I'm not going to dwell on the ignorance of some insignificant pot stirrer....we are going to bask in the delight of Quinte West's Victory. Congrats to you......and wish us luck!!!

Something Smells 'Fowl' in the Community

Well, I think I've calmed down enough to actually be articulate.....maybe. As the title says....Something Smells Fowl in the Community. Yesterday, we got a visit from our friendly neighbourhood Bylaw officer. Apparently, someone, has issues with us keeping our backyard chickens. I can't prove but I can certainly wager a guess that it is the same someone(s) who prompted us to have the police visit on 3 separate occasions due to trespassing, uttering death threats and because their dogs have tried to kill our animals. Of course the bylaw officer can't disclose the identity of the complainer because of the privacy policy act.......COWARDS. what ever happened to the right to face your accuser???

So, my husband made a visit to the Town Office to find out what the problem is/was/or is gonna be. He was told we are not allowed to house livestock. Livestock??? Livestock to me is cows or pigs but certainly not birds. There is no mention of chickens in these bylaws because I have scoured those bylaws front and back and upsidedown. NOTHING. And, it is not like I have 200 chickens running amock wreaking havoc upon the community or worse the roadways.

I have 7 laying hens that have a proper chicken house which allows for free range running, pecking, scratching, eating, pest control, or just plain rolling and frolicking in the sunshine by day.........and a proper nesting/roosting area where they go to bed by night and are locked up tight to keep them safe. I have them in our garden where we move their chicken house around so they have a fresh area in which to graze every week or two. Of course, this is a win-win set up because they till and weed our garden for us. Sadly, this year we aren't able to have a working garden because a barn frame is being erected on site which will take up that garden area but in the meantime it belongs to the chickens.....or naughty children!!! LOL As you can see this picture has my 12 year old daughter in it....lots of room for a few chickens. You can certainly see they are housed properly.



So, in the meantime what is the real problem??? Even tho the bylaw officer "says" the complaint was they didn't feel we had them housed "properly"....I think they are full of it. Hmmmmmmmm.......what is your definition of "proper"....how much more proper can you get?? Have you seen how mass producers "properly" house their chickens??? It's reprehensible. [Sorry to all chicken farmers....I just couldn't do that]



Mass production sticks their layers in something called 'battery cages'.....even the name leaves little to be desired. "Most farms have 4 or 5 birds per cage. The cages being approx. 20 inches x 20 inches" which are stacked on top of one another leaving it possible for feces to fall below. "Over 2,000,000 chickens die in their cages each year from disease caused by improper control of faeces clearing." So, I ask you.....THIS is what you consider 'proper' housing?? I think not. [Quoted from http://www.downthelane.net/battery.php]

Of the 2 previous pictures....I'm sure you can see an obvious difference.

What's the next step?? the next step is to start a petition[already done], circulate it and try to fight for our Girls. I say our girls because they are much more then egg producers. We've had these girls going on 2 years now. We 'hand raised' them from day olds and have watched them grow into the beautiful mature hens they are today. We homeschool and my daughter did a school project on them. We've had children from all over come to visit our chickens which is so educational. It teaches children to be responsible pet owners and where our food comes from. not to mention, kids get quite a charge out of collecting the eggs. We have an apartment complex in our town and many of the elderly love to watch them....not to mention they enjoy the eggs we give them as well.

This day and age when Society is advocating sustainable green living and touting how we need to get back to basics....how can they allow such an injustice to occur??? They want people to be self sufficient and yet they squash anyone who tries. They want people to be organic and natural but they make it impossible to do. I've always been a Naturalist. I like to know whats in my food.....what better way to know then to eat what you grow and grow what you eat. Call me a tree hugger....call me radical...but wouldn't you like to eat fresh, healthy food free of chemicals....pesticides and antibiotics?? Chickens are not the problem.....they are part of the solution!!!!!! They eat all your table scrapes which reduces municipal waste. They produce a rich fertilizer high in nitrogen which eliminates the need for petrochemical fertilizers AND replenishes our depleted soils. They are a form of natural pest control which stops the use of toxic pesticides. How can any of this be wrong?? This puts an end to the vicious cycle and replaces it with a healthy cycle. If you put good things in....they put good stuff out....which produces even better produce....which they in turn eat....and the cycle continues. Just like our recycling motto....reduce-reuse-recycle....it all goes hand in hand. Healthy soil=healthy food, isn't this why we are huge composters now?? These chickens ARE my personal composters!!!!! Isn't this why droves of people flock to garden centers for manure?? Why not have it right in your own back yard???


Please help by signing our petition located at http://www.petitiononline.com/hens4all/petition.html

Mob Mentality on the Internet

Its been awhile since my last blog but some events that have taken place have prompted me to sit down and write about my ponderings. We hear all the time about school yard bullies and how zero tolerance in our schools aren't getting any better. Now it is not just that one infamous bully but a group of meanies. An interesting example of the mob mentality that is becoming more prevalent is on the internet. I can't comment about every forum or chat room but I can tell you that Mobs of Mothers are relentless. It is no wonder children are growing up to be bullies if this is the example they are setting.

For the record, I am NOT talking about a good old fashioned debate. I am talking about groups of people who band together for nothing other then the sole purpose of ridding the thread of the NON-CONFORMER. If it is a group in which is one sided then the non-conformer has no business being there unless they are a sucker for punishment and then the onus is on them. Sadly, I'm guilty of doing this. I've been that lonely sheep who has wandered into the room of pack wolves for the very purpose of flexing my muscles and voicing that I'M NOT AFRAID OF THE BIG BAD WOLF. It gets my juices flowing. THIS is also not what I'm referring to.



I'm referring to either a group, a thread, or a discussion board that has two opposing opinions. One is neither right or wrong........JUST DIFFERENT. However a funny thing happens. People seek out their comrades and prepare for battle. You know that saying "all is fair" well apparently these groups love to employ this concept.

The thing I find fascinating is their tactics are downright juvenile. They want people to take them serious yet they act like children. One incident that comes to mind is the foul profanity that comes streaming from their mouths....err...well...fingertips. Apparently you are not suppose to comment on this either as it makes for much more cussing to follow. The next tactic is blantant lying about whats been said and if you quote their words you're accused of trying to make them look stupid. No my Dear, you are doing a FINE job all on your own. The next tactic is mocking. This equates to nothing more then the school yard bullying. This would all be fine however there is always that ONE person who eggs on the others and before you know it you have a MOB. At this point the discussion topic is lost and it has resorted to hair pulling and eye gouging.

Needless to say I did not make great BFF's when my comment to all of this was "I find it difficult to carry on an intelligent conversation when people resort to name calling, brow beating and profanity. It does little for their cause and takes away from the quality of the conversation. So I soon bore of filtering thru the fodder to see if there is anything of substance to reply to."

Eeeeeeeeeeeep....I think they ran screaming from their computers to stop themselves from embedding a hammer in the monitor.



So who are the worst offenders of this?? Generally people who have too much time on their hands. They sit in the comfort of their cozy home judging the world from their cushioned computer chair. From my experience the worst are stay at home mothers. Sadly, at this moment I fall into that category. **sigh** so I know how easy it is to go to the computer to reach out into the vast world and BE HEARD!!!!!!!!!! Be heard about what exactly?? Many of these offenders swarm to mothering sites and tell other Mothers everything they are doing WRONG!!!!!! OH DEAR GAWD!! What are they thinking?? Do you not realize that many of these women are hormonal and carry very big weapons that they would use except they have 4 children attached to their breasts while they are ripping you a new one AT THE KEYBOARD.

Yes, that incident didn't make me popular either. A woman was telling me what a horrible mother I was because I had given my daughter a well deserved swat to her bottom meanwhile she had been posting for a solid 23 hours. Hmmmmmmmm......how exactly is this person a better mother when she is permanently attached to her computer?? I wonder where her 4 children were?? Apparently it is bad etiquette to point that out.

So I guess I'm wondering WHY these roaming packs of rabid gangs form. I understand that birds of a feather flock together but I also know it is in people's differences that we find intrigue and expand our horizons. So what is the answer. I think I've come to the conclusion that it is WEAKNESS. I can see me getting flamed badly for that comment. Gang members while are strong within their unit are completely weak outside of it. Strong willed people don't need to conform to feel validated or comforted. They know themselves, know their opinions and don't need a supporting group to make them feel good about their opinions.

The next pondering is why is it becoming epidemic on the internet?? Is it because of the anonymity? This I can say....I'm not guilty of. If I have something to say to you I will just say it...to your face or otherwise. Most but certainly not all of the culprits feel that sense of security that no one will ever know who they are. Would half these mothers speak this way to their neighbour?? To a stranger?? Would they join together with other mothers to harrass the newest mother of a group?? No they would not. They might think it but they would NEVER act on it.

So how do we put an end to this?? Good question. The answer is the hardest of all. You ignore them. Turn the other cheek. HA! That comment always made me laugh. Why on earth would I turn the other cheek.....so they can slap that side or kick you in the ass??? However, it is true. People who roam the threads in these gangs do so because it makes them feel powerful. This power is a delusion. The gang helps to validate them....sad really. So, should you find yourself in this situation try to fight that urge to reply. They thrive on your response. The more you reply, the ruder, the more ignorant and the more outrageous their behaviour will get. Sadly, I have issues with this. I am a born to argue kind of girl. I was Captain of our Debate team, if there was an under dog I was defending it and a worthy cause supporting it. Not to mention I come from a long line of sarcastic sots and knew nothing else but to fight your way to the top. Otherwise you got eaten.

So this is an area I'm working on. I am TRYING to ignore that debating instinct and the overwhelming to urge to scream!!!!!! *laffs hard* Seriously, let's not feed the trolls. These are insignificant windbags who are fooling themselves with delusions of grandeur when their real lives no doubt are pitiful and meaningless. Why else would they cut others down to make themselves feel good?? Because on the inside.....they feel bad.