Sunday, August 7, 2011

Defeated By Illness???

So, I found this old post buried in my facebook and thought I'd move it over here. I am hoping that my recent lifestyle changes will alter many of the statements in this post that remain true today.

by Kelly Nicholls Bacher on Sunday, May 6, 2007 at 2:28pm one ever realizes how debilitating an illness can be. No one understands until low and behold you get it. Two years ago I was a vision of youthfulness and health. Ok.....maybe not as young as I wish I was but I think age is just a number. I was a single mom, worked midnights, had a small child and a busy life. So it seemed normal that somedays I was exhausted.

I drove for a living so when the tiredness started affecting my work I knew something was up. I decided I was overworked and stressed out. To make a long story short my Mom saved my life. I had left my thyroid condition too long and since the day of has been an uphill battle.

My boyfriend (now husband) at the time proposed to me that November......happiest time of my life right??? Well....yes and no. I was put on medication a few weeks after his proposal. I had gained 25 pounds for what seemed no reason at all. That January my sister had all of us to her place for a "girls weekend". I like all my sisters LOVE to go out and party hard. Needless to say I was home sipping tea by 11:30pm and quite happy about it. I WAS EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! I figured it would just take time for my meds to kick in. So I went about my wedding plans and got my dress CUSTOM measured and made in China. The day it arrived I was never so happy. OK.....not true. The colour was off so I was stressing out until my parents were almost in tears by its beauty. My Dad will not say something is beautiful unless its his input made it all right.

Mom and I raced upstairs and.......IT DIDN"T FIT!!!!!!!! That means I gained more weight on top of the 25 pounds. *sigh* So not to worry because "whats 25 pounds??" Time passed and I still was not feeling well and was chronically exhausted. I eventually quit work because I was afraid of falling asleep at the wheel. This gave me more time to plan our wedding and spend time with my daughter which was AWESOME. As awesome as this was my health was not getting any was getting worse. Finally I went to a endocrinologist....he was mortified at my state. By the time my wedding rolled around I had 2 visible bald spots, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, hadn't had a menstrual cycle in over a year, my skin was extremely dry and bleeding, my nails were almost non-existant, my weight was so out of control that I hardly look like the same person, and come 3 in the afternoon I'm ready for bed.

No one knows this and I can't believe I'm actually going to put this down in print but I had to buy a second wedding gown and then by the wedding it still had to be reconstructed. It was horrible. I cried oceans but tried to not let my inner torture show. We were married and it was the happiest day of my life. I wasn't the princess I wanted to be but I still got my prince charming. I still battle everyday. They tell me my thyroid levels are perfect now but I honestly don't feel like me yet. My weight is still out of control....I still have no eyebrows....I've had 3 skin is still chronically dry and I still tire very easy. No one knows how horrible it is. Maybe if enough people know what the signs, symptoms and dangers are, the public will be enlightened. Maybe sufferers will be enlightened. Don't let it go.....don't write it off as stress or overworked because by the time you get around to fixing could be much worse then it had to be. Let us help eachother.

The sad thing about these kinds of diseases one can see the effects. I'm not bleeding.....or bed ridden......or missing extremities....or anything that tells society I'm sick. This torment is all internal. People with such ailments are labelled lazy and fat......instead of sick and tired. I've recently gone back to a lifestyle that use to come so natural to me. I'm hoping it is these changes that will bring me back to the old me. I'll keep everyone posted.